Inspired Writings 散文
Over the last ten years of working with people of all different backgrounds, I discovered across the board that it is not difficult to heal. It is not difficult to overcome pain or suffering, but one has to be clear about certain fundamentals.
The main premise is that one has to be willing to go through it, to meet the most tender, vulnerable and soft part of one’s being. One has to be willing to drop all masks, all self protection, and all fear of knowing oneself and of being intimate with oneself. It is about being willing to step into the most real space within you.
Many people step onto the spiritual path in order to elevate their own inner state – to feel better essentially. The main fallacy in understanding is however that one cannot feel better – truly – without first removing the obstacles in the way. In the most simple terms, there are two processes in the inner work, navigation out of pain/darkness and expansion into joy/light. There are alternatives whereby much more quantum approaches are possible however to go through it while consciously tracking all the changes in one’s emotions, psyche and being is indeed the most visceral way to do it.
The way up is to go in; it is meeting the rawness within yourself. I have worked with incredible beings and modalities, with highly realized beings and exceptionally powerful transmissions of grace, energy and light. Indeed, I found many gifts within the integrity of each path. Still, no matter how powerful, quantum or miraculous an approach was – I found that unless one could dive into the rawness of one’s bare naked core, that their perceived breakthroughs were rarely sustained. If one could however hold oneself in the softest embrace at the bottom of one’s feelings, at the bottom of oneself, then any storm would invariably pass.
It is so simple, but to fully and completely feel never fails. It happens like this because change is always happening, but when we focus on change, it accelerates. With any charge, the main premise is to go into it so deep, to penetrate every layer, and then some, and then some, and continue until there is just truly no further one can go. At this bottom, one just sits. At this bottom, one just embraces the whole of what is there. It could be a soup of sadness, grief, anger, sorrow, guilt, shame – whatever that is, the key is to just stay with that; as though that were your own child. This child just needs to be seen, embraced, recognized and empathized with. In doing this, the need of this metaphoric child would be met, and they could just run off and play as it were.
Our work with self is to just be present with the truth of what is really there; being able to really feel what you feel. It is true that when you focus on something, a problem, it amplifies. It is also true that when you focus on something, it amplifies and then dissolves. The principle being that when an energy reaches a peak, it will begin to decline. Once it declines, you cannot stop that trajectory. You could experiment and try to stop it, but would find that your very attention to it would override your intention. It would in effect continue it’s decline.
This unstoppable dissolution happens because once a charge has been exhausted at it’s peak, it becomes like a popped balloon deflating irreversibly. Once an energy has been fully acknowledged and deeply learned from, it will move towards it’s completion. It will lose its existential need to be there any more. To note, it does not dissolve into nothing, but it does collapse it’s configuration as a blockage and then become released back into a field of pure undifferentiated energy, pure unrealized potential.
There are only two reasons that an energy shows up, it is there to help you both evolve on the level of energy and on the level of intelligence. Once you have imbibed the learning in your intelligence, as well as discharged the energy correctly in your body, then it is complete. The only exception to the process of internal resolution is if there is still an external issue to contend with. If that is the case, then you may be karmically bound to resolve the situation with involved persons or factors before you are fully released from the lesson.
In any and most cases, the main key to healing and becoming free from any disturbing feelings is to go into them, in the most real and vulnerable way you can, and truly feel what is within you at the bottom of you. This is why we are here as human, we have come for the human experience, we have come to live, feel, breathe, and experience the absolute depth of ourselves through our external dance with life. Life in essence is happening within, and only by remaining sensitive, aware and fully in touch with our inner process do we continue to remain in touch with the essence of life. (May 30, 2014)
Our fundamental nature is the essence of pure light and radiant love. When this is not experienced moment to moment, it is because we are out of alignment. It means our attention has become distracted by relative and transient phenomena, the stuff of the world, the stuff of the mind. It means we are not abiding at our center within the absolute of what we are.
Neither is this an exclusive choice, one or the other. We can cultivate abidance in our centre, anchor in the truth of that and relate to the world from here. Difficulty arises when we disconnect from our center and become lost in the outer. Here we lose the knowingness of our eternity and infinity; here we feel easily insecure, fearful, lacking and grasping. Disconnection from our centre causes us to forget that in reality nothing can truly harm us, take from us, or make us less – at least not on the level that it matters.
Numerous factors, people, situations internal and external absorb our attention; we in turn absorb their attention. Relating for the sake of itself has lost its purity. Most people engage in relating in order to acquire something – as though what they needed were outside them. What compels us to move in the world of relationships is however a deeper evolutionary impulse. The lucidity of our awakening informs us that we fundamentally relate in an effort to know ourselves through the other, to experience ourselves through the other. It is through what is reflected back to us, and how the other contrasts what we are, that we come to know variation and subtly within our self. We could evade this point and keep playing the game, or we could simplify and like a wondrous child enjoy the miracle of creation as an outward extension of our own greater Self.
It is helpful to ask oneself, with what am I choosing to resonate with in the world? Is it leading to my evolution or regression, my expansion or contraction? Am I relating from the purity and beauty of relating, or am I trying to seek and acquire? Am I dancing with creation while anchored in my centre, or am I lost in the thinking that I do not already have what I seek. What if all that you were seeking were already present? (May 28, 2014)
The human experience is entirely internal. We only ever experience what is within ourselves. We cannot experience what is outside ourselves. We think we are touching a tree, feeling her as she is. But are we? We can only experience sensations in our hands as a result of touch. We can only experience what is happening within our own skin. We think we are experiencing another person; we are only experiencing how we feel in their company. We think we are experiencing an event; we are only experiencing our inner response to it.
Everything that happens in life is only phenomenon dancing across the screen of our consciousness. We are that screen; we are that unchanging, ever-present, eternal background of consciousness. We cannot cease, but all images passing by will cease. Everything that makes up the appearance of our life will cease.
Our experience of the world is essentially our experience of our own self. Each event occurring in our life represents a process happening in our bodies. Every person in our life is a part of our own selves projected outward. The characteristics, dynamics and makeup of our outer life are a three dimensional map of what is happening in our own consciousness.
How is this helpful to know? When we are clear that life is happening within us, and not outside us, then we release our obsession with trying to control and direct external circumstances. We release the futility of this effort because we realize it is not what happens but how we respond to what happens – that determines the quality of our existence. It seems we have a hand in directing the flow of our life, however no matter how intentional and driven one wave is, it will have to yield to the ocean if the ocean is flowing elsewhere. Life is happening in the world, but our experience of it is happening in consciousness. In truth, there is no distinction between them, between inner and outer. All of life is consciousness, and all the forms of the world are but outward expressions of consciousness. However to create a distinction in understanding, the quality of our life (relationships, work, events) is the quality of our moment to moment internal experience of our own selves. (May 14, 2014)
Agreements for Learning
We have all made “agreements for learning” upon entry into this life. These are our major life themes or lessons. They are karmic in nature, meaning they will continue to appear until resolved. Our own higher self has created them for our own higher good. This is why our higher agreements cannot be easily cancelled by our lower intents. Despite the difficult nature of some lessons, none are beyond our capacity for learning.
The intelligence of life is completely aware of our ‘agreements for learning.’ This intelligence is completely aware of how each agreement is linked to each aspect of self. Life thus unfolds according to the order of evolution already within us. Various events in our life are designed to awaken various aspects of self. Until the whole of life has touched the whole of self, our work continues. (May 14, 2014)
Einstein once said, “What we do not experience in consciousness, we experience as fate.” It means that if we can learn a lesson on the level of awareness alone, then an event does not need to manifest in order to teach it to us. All learning happens within, as such, it is not so important how it happens. It can happen through a direct inner realization or through a complex life story. It depends on the desire of one’s consciousness.
If one is bright, sensitive and aware, one can simply complete a lesson inside consciousness. If one is dull, insensitive and unaware, one will need to learn through form. Learning requires the density of form when our awareness is lethargic and slow. Or if one is resistant to learning, then only the confrontational nature of form will one push one to learn. For one person, being told the importance of forgiveness is enough to learn it. For another person, seeing forgiveness being shown from one being to another is needed. For yet another, one has to undergo a story of hurt and be presented with an opportunity to choose forgiveness in order to learn it.
The form our lessons take are not only dependent on our ability to learn inside consciousness. Sometimes, our methodology of learning is just a preference. One may simply want to live out and experience every learning through physical form. For them, the richness of life happens through a full engagement with it and as such a dynamic complex of life stories ensues. For spiritual seekers whom desire a more rapid evolution, meditation and self-inquiry are embraced as a more direct way to learn. There is no need as such for lessons to “become fate.” One is content to learn through a lighter vibration; for them imbibing lessons on the level of energy and intelligence is enough.
And it may be that we are fully capable of learning within consciousness, however we may be bound by karmic contracts with others to learn through an event. In honor of our decision to incarnate, we do not just come here to ignore the world and turn within. Life in the world is part of our choice to come. It is only that one who embraces an inner path does so knowing that the secret to accelerating evolution is to do inner work.
There is more to life than just moving through a thick fog of karmas and life lessons. By moving through learning on the level of consciousness, we are able to flower into higher states of consciousness and experiencing. Inside, we know there is a higher way of being and living, and cultivating consciousness is our way of aligning ourselves with that unfolding. In the majority, we are able to choose between consciousness and fate, hence was Einstein’s insight. (May 14, 2014)
Q: As a seeker on the path, how should one live from truth?
Dissolving untruth is the most direct way of reaching truth. If being true has a cost, and one is attached to the cost, then it will be hard to stay true. If being true is more important than the gain of anything or the loss of anything, then one will be inclined to stay true.
The only way to live in truth is to embrace it as your bottom line. That means you would undergo anything for it. Any place in you that resists any consequence for being true, will stay false. One must really trust, that by being true, one will be fine. One must understand, even in death, you are fine.
If by being true, you undergo loss – then it was only a matter of time. If by being false, you are able to hold onto something – then that something cannot last. The ocean of reality is governed by truth. Every wave will eventually be absorbed by it. Truth comes out sooner or later, of which being untrue, only stalls the inevitable. (May 14, 2014)
Every teaching, no matter how enlightened, is subjective. Every teaching, no matter how expansive, is only a point of view. Most teachings specialize only in selected areas. Few teachings, if any, are truly holistic. To be holistic is to cover every single area of human development – succinctly and completely. It would mean one source has all the answers.
It is a beginner’s mistake to take one’s path as the ultimate path. Since, a path cannot really be known from the outside, to say one’s path is “the best” precludes having walked every other possible path to then reasonably draw this conclusion.
We tend to be exclusive when we have seen little. Conversely, we tend to be non-conclusive when we have seen a lot. If one has truly seen a lot, then many gems across the vast expanse of human knowledge will be seen. Truth is not the monopoly of one. No source has the only key. No teacher is the chosen teacher. No group is the chosen group.
The map of evolution is expansive and without end. If every teaching is seen within the context of a greater map, then dogma disappears. It is then up to each person to see what teaching fulfills what part of the map. Where there are gaps, one should supplement one’s knowledge.
At the center of the compass, at the center of navigation, should be oneself. No external teacher, teaching or tradition should occupy one’s central knowingness. Bottom-line is one must trust one’s own deepest knowing. If we seek externally, without having developed our own knowingness, then we risk losing our truth to the truth of another.
There is no this path or that path – only your path and the guides you may choose at various points, for various durations on your path. We do not have to reap all the fruits from what each path offers. When a path has helped us to complete what we needed, we can flow in another direction. Our task is not to complete paths as presented, but to gather their support in the proportions we need.
That said, it is not just about our ability to discern who is our best to guide at various points. At times, we are our best counsel. The divine nature of our own heart, is deeply endowed with all the wisdom we need to traverse along our highest path. If we can access our own pure nature and soulful intelligence born of that, we can also choose ourselves as our primary guide, and allow the greater unfoldment of life to present teachings to us along the way.
For most, there is too much confusion and delusion to sort through initially, such that receiving the help of an awakened guide is the best choice. If a guide is embraced, we do need to lend our openness and trust to them at first. Obstacles, pitfalls and our own blind spots are plentiful, and to have a guide help us, some degree of surrender is needed at the beginning. This surrender however is not slavish, it is a softening of our being so love and truth can come through.
Our allegiance should be tied to our principles, and not to our guide; for if our guide loses course, then we would in turn lose course. If we have become needy or dependent on our guide, then it is time to retreat in order to regain ourselves. No matter how wise or enlightened our teachers are – their truth and path should never supplant the dignity of our own.
One is not separate from what one seeks. One should not lose sight of this. No ones holds the keys to our salvation or liberation, such that we have to lose our integrity, our center, our knowingness, or our selves – to gain it.
To conclude: honor one’s deepest knowing, remain the sole navigator on your path, engage teachers and teachings within the context of the wider map of evolution of which no single source holds all the answers or keys. Trust that by staying sincere, integral and dedicated, existence will wholly support you in your evolution. (May 5, 2014)
The Path of Self-Realization encompasses two sides of evolution. There is the personal evolution and transpersonal evolution. Healing and Ascension. There is the need for healing our human side as well as awakening our spiritual side.
There is the process of becoming strong as a self, then a process of dissolving as a self. Before one can transcend the mind, one must be at peace with the mind. Before one can live as free spirit, one must embrace one’s human nature.
Often seekers lean towards one side and either negate or try to bypass work on the other side.This leads to a clear imbalance with either the human lacking spiritual awareness or it leads to the spiritual seeker disconnected from his human sensitivity.
Let nothing be undiscovered within, be a warrior in your own inner terrain.
Explore every horizon, explore every valley, explore every deep dark forbidden corner
until your are no more afraid to wander anywhere. This would be your freedom.
There is a divine presence that lives inside you. It is this aspect of divinity that manifests in the center of every being. It is the mysterious presence we sense around us and within us in times of loss and aloneness. It is this which abides quietly in our heart, ever waiting for our notice, ever waiting for our discovery, timelessly present – so ancient, as close as our very being. It is like having traveled countless miles, endless lifetimes winding our way through mountain, river, desert and rain in search for the unseen hand that has been holding ours with every step….
To know the divine, is to begin relating with the divine. It is relating, not to an abstract notion of God, light or the universal, but like to an old and dear friend, a friend like none other, a friend whose love and concern is supreme, a friend who suffers wholly as we suffer. It is this heartfelt presence that comforts us in thought and guides us as our inner voice. It is essence, wisdom and love supreme, the heavenly light of God ~ God himself waiting in the soft of our heart, waiting, waiting and ever waiting without end for our return….