The Response that Changes Everything
In life, so many doors open to you. Life is not meant to be smooth, although it is lovely when that is the case. It is like a dreamy tea break that you hope doesn’t end.
When something goes off balance, when a conflict occurs between you and another, let that be the only extent life needs to go to for you to learn. It is a door, and if you enter deeply enough, then a space of transformation opens to you. There is always the ordinary response, the extraordinary response, and then the response that changes everything. The last response is a quantum leap. It is where you skip years of conflict in a single awakening. It happens when you go deep enough within, when you allow a very small event to shake you to the core.
It is the commitment to learn everything you can from a situation. It is not just saying and doing what you can to get out of troubled waters. It is seeking for more than a surface solution. It is going far beyond the response of an ego defending itself against the vulnerability of true change.
Life is here to purify your consciousness and help raise you into your next evolutionary level. Things go wrong on the outside to test your response. Are you passing your tests? Are you living with grace, humility, honesty, and your agreement to learn love no matter what? Not just a bit of love, but the universal expanse of it.
Are you asking the right questions? What pattern keeps showing up? Why do I keep meeting the same kind of person, or the same kind of conflict? Why have things truly fallen apart? Why was this loss or betrayal necessary? How did I create this?
Conflicts on the outside are trying to gently break something on the inside. If there is any shell of protection around the heart, or shell of stubbornness around the mind, the conflict is encouraging breakage. Make no mistake, conflict will help you if you allow it. It is never accidental, arising without reason. Do not let it pass you by without offering a full soul response.
Always seeing what happens from a bird’s eye view, watching how your self is responding in every situation. As though the Gods were placing obstacles in front of us, just to see if we cry in defeat or surmount them with grace and ease. If we surmount one after another, we only keep moving forward. As greater obstacles are presented, we are meant to keep increasing what we are on the inside by surmounting them. We continue doing so, until we meet with an obstacle too monumental to surmount, and that in turn shows us our inner limitation.
Let’s say you have been extremely generous to someone, who one day begins to complain that you are cheap and don’t give enough. Most people would get angry and stop giving to this person. It seems a reasonable response. Indeed it is the average response of an ego stepping forward. A deeper response examines the judgment and wall of non-acceptance you have placed between you and the other. You stop loving them, because their love is not big enough to match yours. It seems your compassion has met its limits, no? It may be right indeed to stop giving, however, your work is to break open the limits of your embrace. It is your generosity learning to embrace the opposite energy, holding the ignorance of the other inside your generosity. This would be the learning for you. For them, it is obvious that they need to open their eyes and a withdrawal of your support might be enough. No matter what the appropriate external response is, the inner response should always remain on the side of love and compassion.
When another is being dishonest with you, you may ask them for greater honesty. If they try again, but still cannot give you enough honesty, then what shall you do? Getting upset, judgmental and pushing them away is not the key. Perhaps, see that they may not know the pathway towards greater honesty; they do not know that depth of self- inquiry; it may be beyond where they have gone before. They may be fearful of loss, or maybe feeling threatened therefore needing to self protect. It takes courage to be true and face the consequences of that, so if one cannot, then the higher response is to embrace their fear. If they are being consciously deceitful, you do not need to engage in their game, but your embrace of their condition is still your inner work.
The idea is to reach for the highest response. The ordinary response may be defensive self-explanation, or judgment and blame. The extraordinary response is to look within and see how you created this circumstance for your own learning. The quantum response is to learn your lessons deeply and respond to the other in such a heartfelt way where they are so deeply touched that the relationship heals and is raised into the light of its highest mutual benefit. Let the smallest event be enough to catapult you past several thresholds of learning at once. Let the smallest conflict raise your aspects to reach new heights. Deepen so much inside self-honesty that it melts the untruth in others.
The quantum response always begins with yourself, so cultivate yourself foremost before advising those around you. When you have cleared your prejudices, and it is time to offer a response to the other, do not just offer an ordinary response, a collective consciousness response. Go far beyond the classical egoic reactions of defense, offense, the need to be right or to make the other wrong. Offer the response that changes everything. Seeing clearly, any judgment we hold over another, only points to the limits of our own compassion. Help the other by gently guiding them with love, inviting them into a deeper space of self-inquiry. Help them to see themselves if they are willing. If they are not willing to see or to change, let them be. Finally, simply continue to be a light unto yourself, just for the sake of it. If others follow, that is their grace.