Loving Fully Without Losing Oneself
How many catalysts do you need to self realize?
Our fundamental nature is the essence of pure light and radiant love. When this is not experienced moment to moment, it is because we are out of alignment. It means our attention has become distracted by relative and transient phenomena, the stuff of the world, the stuff of the mind. It means we are not abiding at our center within the essence of what we are. When we live from our essence, the experience is purity, divinity and bliss.
It is neither an exclusive choice to live in the inner or outer. Ideally, we abide in our center, anchor in that truth, and relate to the world from there. Difficulty and illusion arises when we disconnect from our center and become lost in the outer. When disconnected, we lose the knowingness of our eternity and infinity. This causes us to feel insecure, lacking and grasping. When disconnected, we live in fear and forget that in reality, nothing can truly harm us, take from us or make us less… at least on the level that it matters. When we live from our center, it is clear, that wholeness and completion are realized from within.
Relating for the sake of pure relating is rare. Most people engage in relating in order to acquire something – as though what they needed were outside them. We are constantly absorbed by the outer, and the outer is also in turn absorbed by us. Instant gratification and sensory-based pleasures are readily available, whereas the fruit of self-realization is much more subtle and sublime. It is easy to lose oneself in the world, and harder to pull back into the quietude and stillness of our center. There is no drama or light show in our pure nature, and where the spiritual path leads is not readily apparent. Only slow, gradual absorption into the inner realm reveals that lasting bliss is entirely an inner phenomenon, belonging to the realm of the soul. That is not to say it cannot be shared, but it is birthed from deep within. When anchored in our depth, our bliss is self-sustaining even if the world cannot return us the same vibration. Participation in the world suddenly takes on real meaning when we come from possessing ourselves and thus having something to truly share.
There is however a deeper evolutionary impulse moving us when we engage in relationship, whether we know it or not. While we relate to the other in an attempt to “get” something from the experience, actually, what we are “getting” is basically a variation in our own self- experience. Our lucidity informs us that we fundamentally relate in an effort to know ourselves through the other. Through our contrast with the other, what we are is more magnified and revealed, our extremities and more delicate nuances all come to the surface. We get tested in relationship in ways that we may not otherwise when alone. Relationship is where story arises, so we have material to work with as we go within.
The direct pathway to self-realization is a deep dive within, the pure experience of our core essence. The other pathway is looped through the world of relationships, as we seek triggers to help us experience and remember various lost or disconnected aspects of self. If we do not find time to turn within, eventually all distractions fall away on their own, and we are faced with a very baseline experience of our true state. When our well-being is no longer being propped up by busyness, goals and distractions, at one point we finally meet ourselves, by ourselves. We dance between the world and relationships until we are ready to just be quiet and face the simplicity of our being.
The average mind-set will argue life is about relationship, connection and community, but without the fundamental connection to self, how to relate beyond the self. The idea is to remain anchored within and not lose oneself, while engaging in the world of relationships. It is fine to want connection with others but to want it out of lack, or to want it before wanting to know ourselves is a form of self-abandonment. People evade themselves all the time, but the deepest fulfillment is cultivated from within. From that intimate self-connection is then born our ability to truly connect with the world.
Inquire into the motives behind all outward seeking and activity. Would you be so busy trying to acquire what you do in the world, if you were truly connected to your self? When you relate, does it come from just the beauty of relating, with no aim or want? When you dance in the world, do you leave your self behind, and forget what you seek may already be present?